Wednesday, 17 April 2013

Today could have been better


Today has not been a good day for me; I won’t go into a lot of details because some of it I feel should not be put for everyone to see! But in short, I ended up in tears and pretty much having a panic attack. Which didn’t help when I had to do a group exercise, which was part of an interview for my current role in my job but it went ok (I think). This I can go into more detail, basically I cover a supervisor position and if the person I cover wanted to come back to the role I would go back to being an agent. However, for some reason I and the two other covers have to retake an interview (along with other candidates) for those cover positions. I find out tomorrow, I am not worried if I don’t have the role because I get to go on Maternity soon but at the same time it would be a shame since I have done the role for 2 years!

Another thing that has upset me today (but I am a little over sensitive), why do people think its ok to call a pregnant person fat! I have got a large bump, people have been calling me fatty etc for a long time during this pregnancy but now it’s starting to get to me. For me, I have an issue with my body and I am very sensitive when it comes to weight… I try not to be and normally smile or laugh because I don’t see the point in letting it get to me. But when I was pregnant with my first child (who is now 5) at the start I weighed about 7 stone, was real thin and honestly I probably looked ill. I doubled my weight with my first child… I did get rid of some of the extra weight but it knocked my confidence. I will say I look healthier for having a bit of weight on me rather than how thin I was. Now I am pregnant for the second time one of the concerns I have had is will I put on a lot of weight like last time, I ask my partner, friends, family and mostly they say no but I wonder if I have… Writing this is actually making me quite tearful which may sound silly to most but I honestly don’t deal well with weight and have been ignoring it for the past 5 years because that’s how I found it easier to deal with it. My baby is due in 7 weekish, I guess I will see how much bigger I am then (well probably a little longer than that) but I do plan to breast feed, exercise (when I have recovered from the labour) but only time will tell. I just want the comments to stop…

1 comment:

  1. Bit harsh calling you fatty. Pregnancy naturally makes a women put on a few lbs and luckily we lose most or sometimes all when baby comes! I'll join the gym with you after baby arrives Natty, really helped to have a trainer who planned out what we needed to do. I'm definitely going to start out on Aqua aerobics again as it was pretty fun!

    I love ya just as you are, harsh and silly comments like that are not needed. Just know your gorgeous and currently growing a baby! forget the comments (I know it's hard) your a star
    xx

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